For the greatest Rock ‘n’
Roll swindle look a little further than
“The Sex Pistols” and you will find those
fellahs from Metallica looking a little
sheepish.
After 3 albums of very average thrash/speed
metal (they had to fill their live set
with other people's numbers to make it
bearable). The boys from Metallica and
their management held a little conference
to work out a policy to hold this bunch
together. A complete sellout was decided
upon. Forget the old roots of true rock
and go for the radio friendly mainstream
stadium poodle rock. Out went the jeans,
T-shirts, and sneakers, and in came leather,
studs, chains, moustaches, biker boots,
and the impossibly big hair. A selection
of by the numbers rock songs were laid
down and Bob Rock was brought in to produce
the whole sham, giving it that very F.M
radio friendly sheen. Lead guitarist Kirk
Hammett was taught a guitar solo, which
he proceeded to show off in every song,
sometimes at different speeds, but mostly
not bothering, just blazing away, the
bass and drums sound as though both players
are wearing boxing gloves, severely impairing
their ability for any variety.
But it’s James Hetfield who got the worst
of the deal as he had to actually sing
the lyrics, trying to sound sincere. How
does “Liberty of death, what we
so proudly hail, once you provoke her,
rattling of her tail” from “Don’t Tread
On Me” grab you? It’s all about the same,
find a word that rhymes and stick it in.
The marketing was so crass, it worked.
A mock horror movie (copying of all people
Michael Jackson) of a video for 1st Single
“Enter The Sand Man”, got them plenty
of M.T.V. airplay. No title for the album,
an all black cover. (Opposite of the Beatles
white album, very avant-garde). Almost
mimicking “Smell The Glove” by “Spinal
Top”, only difference being that the “Tap”
was meant as a joke, and the music was
better.
On the strength of this Metallica toured
the stadiums of the world to adoring fans
for five years, making themselves a license
to print money with long bass and drum
solos and stolen riffs, all the time shaking
dandruff from their long locks all over
the impressionable kids down the front,
playing air guitar, thinking it's cool,
and screaming Ye- Hah at the top of their
little lungs.
Unfortunately it all had to come to an
end when, under increasing public pressure,
they had to release a follow up album
“Load” in 1995. Even before its debut
the band were admitting it was rubbish,
so they followed up with the aptly titled
“Re-Load”, which sunk without trace. Then
in 1998, as a last desperate attempt at
street credibility despite them now looking
more like bank managers than bank robbers
in their publicity shots, they released
“Garage Inc”, a collection of 27 cover
songs. However, as with all things of
this nature, the covers stood no comparison
with the originals. Nothing has been heard
from Metallica in a few years now, except
for perhaps the sound of them laughing
all the way to the bank. Don’t be conned.
Pawed by Mott The Dog
Remastered by Ella Crew
E-mail: review@mott-the-dog.com
